“…Everyone you know is going to hate you now and you are probably going to hate yourself…”
(Male, 20’s) First of all I’m not by nature one of those dark, emo kind of guys who complains about everything so this dream was really weird and non typical.
I was in the backyard and I was going to make a pig roaster out of a big propane tank. It would have maybe fit two hogs. I had a torch – even though I don’t actually known how to weld in real life – and I started to make a cut. And the thing just exploded. I must not have emptied it of propane or not emptied it enough or whatever.
The next thing I knew I was lying on my back in what looked like a blackened field. The blast had flattened every building for like a block and charred the ground too. I survived but just barely. There was a medic working on me. Once I gained consciousness he looked me straight in the eye and said, “I’ve got to ask you something. I could work here all afternoon and save your life. But you’ve killed a bunch of people and wounded a bunch more and you’ve ruined the homes of all your neighbors. Everyone you know is going to hate you now and you are probably going to hate yourself. Do you understand?”
I nodded. I understood.
The medic continued, “You’re probably going to end up killing yourself out of pity. Which means I wasted my time saving you when I could be busy helping people who actually want to live. I don’t have a problem saving your life but I want to know it’ll be worthwhile. So I’m asking: should I save your life or should I just let you die?”
I told him he should just let me die.